Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
