He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i will never coherently bang her
Church boner. Awkwardddd
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
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