so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
