but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
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Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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