just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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