I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
