let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
