I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
