Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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