Too much gin, very little bucket
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Boobs are out for the taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize