I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
