Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
