I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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