If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
