He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
