I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm just crazy horny about you
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
