it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
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