I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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