Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Randomize
