ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup