We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs