If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Vodka?
Forever.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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