Im at strip club and am horny
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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