lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Every concussion has its silver lining
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
