College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
