do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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