: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
