I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
