But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
