she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize