My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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