He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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