So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
