My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
