i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
