So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
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