nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
