I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
