Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize