Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I feel like abortions should bother me more
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
