hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
