porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
