dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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