You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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