If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize