she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
