At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize