just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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