I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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