Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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