Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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