fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
