I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize