My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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