I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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