I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I think your dad took our porno
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
