Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
