i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
