If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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