Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize