Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
