like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
