He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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