hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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