its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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